Slit my wrists right now
If I weren't wearing my favorite pants
How sad is a life that feels tethered not by it's own merit but by the shiny objects it bought
I am tired of being told I shouldn't feel.
When it is all I clearly do
Living a life of complete invalidation
I am a walking ghost
Breathing and living as if I had merely forgotten to die.
Awareness has cursed me. Lifted a veil of ignorant bliss and settled me into infinite unhappiness
I wish I could go back now.
See where it went wrong, to what others keep calling right
And look for this life that looked like right
I would slit my wrists now, if I weren't afraid to bleed into my shoes
And with luck I'd live
And spend a life dripping blood behind me
Wearing my favorite shoes, soiled with turmoil and the bruising of failure
-this poem is an excerpt from an upcoming collection of my work I hope you enjoy